Posted By: Bryan, THS

on August 22, 2008

Well the Kookaburras got off to the best possible start last night, by scoring in the first minute of the game but were eventually overrun by a rampant Spanish team.

The Spaniards put the Kookas defence and midfield under huge pressure for the entire game and it was the usual suspects of Pol Amat, Eddie Tubau and Santi Freixa up front for the Spanish Inquisition that caused the Aussie defence all sorts of problems throughout the game.

The Aussies just couldn’t quite seem to break the pressure of the Spanish through the middle of the park and only created 1 penalty corner to Spain’s 7.

The Hockey Show’s correspondent on the spot David Wansbrough (who admittedly is moonlighting as a commentator on Channel 7 after his Beijing Hockey Show committments are over each day) agreed that the Spanish were the better team on the night and deserved to win.

And now the Kooka’s have to front up to play the Dutch for the bronze medal after they lost in penalty strokes to Germany. 

Let’s hope they can do it!

So….what does everyone think of the teams peformance over the tournament? Who played well? Who didn’t? Who’s going to retire now? What about Barry Dancer?

Here are the Hockey Show’s thoughts:

1. Ockenden has been an absolute revelation up front. He is going to be a gun.

2. The Hockey Show’s commentary is much better than that of either Wansbrough or Christison

3. Fantastic to see The Hockey Show’s own Andrew Smith get a run.

4. Gymp should have been in the team ahead of Lambert (based on sweeping generalisations from the comfort of the couch watching the games on Channel 7’s rubbish coverage and without having seen any training or how Gymp was going, but again, he’s The Hockey Show’s own, so he should have been in the team)

5. Retirements - Wells, George, Lambert, Brooks

6. Bronze medallists - Australia

 

Posted By: Ballza, THS

on August 20, 2008

BOOOOOYAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

It is with some regret that we announce that Australia’s Grant Schubert is out of the Olympic Games due to a knee injury………His mummy said: Team officials noted:

“He just took a brilliant dive and put the ball into the half-circle and I think it was Eddie Ockenden put it in the goal, and through taking the dive he must have landed on his knee and through the impact damaged the ligament behind the knee”.

Thanks Mrs Schubert Although this is terrible news for Grant and we can all only imagine how gut wrenching it must be for him, we also couldn’t be more stoked if we tried for our main man on the ground in Beijing…

as we like to call him…”The Hockey Show’s Own..”

SMITTY!

Schubert’s injury opens the door for the 17th man, the great Andrew “We love you ’cause you’re a Victorian” Smith to step into the squad for the remainder of the tournament. Not a bad Olympic debut v Spain in the Semi Final if you ask us!

Obviously our Voodoo-Doll antics have worked wonders and the injury gods have smiled upon this King amongst men and with the whole of Victoria behind him how can the big rig go wrong?

Best of luck Smitty, knock ‘em dead.

…now…can they get a decent keeper in the net?

 

Posted By: Ballza

on August 19, 2008

Here at The Hockey Show we like to stay on-top of the big issues and with the Australian women’s hockey team The Hockeyroos tonight losing to the less-fancied Chinese team, the question has to be asked - what went wrong?

The Aussie girls looked totally out classed with China far more efficent in their ball movement and defending resolutely throughout the game. The endeavour was noticeably better from the hometeam and although the girls raked one back in with 20 mins to go in the game - and then a flukey little deflection…they just didn’t look like it at all tonight. It was a case of too little too late I think and appeared that the Hockeyroos were perhaps a little disrespectful to their Chinese opponents and as a result their intensity was seriously lacking.

All in all, the team was strong, their preperation immpecable and thorough - but throughout the tournament we’ve seen some strange play and decision making from our top female players. Furthermore as “Booges” commented on in the forumsthat “Australia were trying to play on off-side trap in their first game, which hasn’t been a tactic since Atlanta, where Frank Murray was last coaching Olympics”…

So: Is it time for the man with the floppy Greg Chappel hat to hang up the aforementioned hat on a well-worn hook and depart?

His record is somewhat impressive taking the girls to Commonwealth Games Gold and the final of the World Cup - but a result such as this in the Olympic games, especially after finishing a disapointing fifth in Athens raises some pretty big questions.

I guess more globally, what is a shelflife of a coach? When do you start asking the tough questions and where does accountablity lay?

Anyway - a massive disapointment.

 

Posted By: Ballza

on August 14, 2008

So while the Orympix (yes…the Orympix as they say in Beijing) are on, it struck me that there are a lot of random sports out there. I’ve been watching in total bamboozlement thinking to myself…why do they even bother?

Simply - There are sports that just just should not be in the Orympix.

Moreover, (I feel i’m writing a year 12 VCE English essay) the Orympix is for the best of the best. So sports like Soccer and stuff…get rid of it, or get the best gun players playing. It doesn’t really make a lot of sense to me - If I wanted to watch crap soccer, i’d go watch the A-League.

I reckon we’re all going to have some interesting opinions here, and I look forward to the discussion but if a “sport” is taking place and the commentators have time to discuss the “athletes” hobbies…surely it is undeserving.

I present for your consideration the top 5 sports that shouldn’t be in the greatest show on earth.

Exhibit A:  Equestrian.

WTF? Horseracing is one thing, at least its got some activity, it’s over in a short time and you can understand it. Horse runs, reaches finish line. WINNER. Simple. 

But EQUESTRIAN? Any sport where you wear a top-hat and tails surely isn’t deserving of being an Olympic sport and one where the commentators get excited about a horse trotting in a particular way…”oooh, look at that trot..that was a super trot - side saddle jolly good old codger hoity-toity English breakfast”. Yeah, nah - not cool.

Let’s not forget that they jump over little model things…”The Hidden Dragon”, “The Forbidden Jump”, “The River of Death”, “Horse Flu” etc.

Exhibit B: Judo.

It’s a pillow fight. Without the pillows. How come it seems all they do is try to grab each others dressing gowns? Why wouldn’t you just wear a tight fitting lycra bodysuit or one of those new fangdangled Swimming cossies to throw your opponent off? Theres nothing to grab onto that way.

ADDITIONALLY - they play in this little area and escape to the outside section as if it is Barley in a game of Tiggey. “Oh…she’s outside the sqaure…PAUSE…COME BACK, COME BACK…ARE WE ALL SET? REALLY? OK……FIGHT”. What a bloody joke. Then, you can win an entire “fight” on a penalty for being too “defensive”. What the hell? So you don’t even have to fight, you just have to attempt to fight and you can find yourself with a medal around your neck. Bizarre.

Exhibit C: Sailing/Windsurfing

Slightly cheating here combing two events under one banner of “shit” but If there ever was a spectator sport….these sure as hell aren’t it. Honestly, whats the point?  You stand on shore while lots of little boats/people on surfboards with sails go out and “sail” before coming back and at the end of it, surely your whole experience has been worth diddly-squat. I’ve noticed the way Channel 7 has handled these events is with a nod to what i’m talking about. They do about a 2 minute montage everyday to bring you up to speed with the crazy goingings on of these ridiculous “sports” while also being embaressed they have to even go that far.

Exhibit D: Basketball.

Controversial I know, but surely this is a game that they can start with both teams on 60 points and play the last 5 mins. End to end - 2 points here, 2 points there, 3 points here, 3 points there. Foul here, foul there, slap and tickle after every free throw there, slap and tickle after every free throw there. What an immense waste of time this sport is - and the hooplah that comes with it! Don’t even get me started on the run-on, high 10’s “Way to go Lauren’s!”

Exhibit E: Fencing

I won’t bother pretending I even partly enjoy this wanky interprative dance. Get a bloody gun and get the thing over and done with.

Anyway, that’s just my thoughts. I love sport bashing as long as it’s not hockey.

GET ON BOARD OUR BEIJING BANDWAGON OF RUBBISH!!

 

Posted By: THS

on August 11, 2008

Hockey Victoria in partnership with Melway, are proud to launch the Limited Edition Hockey Melway Club Fundraiser.

Designed to help affiliates raise much needed funds, the Limited Edition Hockey Melway is the perfect Father’s Day, Birthday or Christmas gift.

The Hockey Melway boasts a custom hockey specific front cover, featuring some of Victoria’s best hockey players and a handy back cover with map references to synthetic hockey venues used in the Hockey Victoria winter competition.

Aside from being the perfect collectors’ item, at $45 the Hockey Melway is cheaper than the recommended retail price of $49.95 and better yet, $10 from every map sold will go straight back to your club or association!

You can purchase your own Limited Edition Hockey Melway by downloading the Order Form and posting it back to the Hockey Victoria Office. You can also purchase the directory directly from the Hockey Victoria office or at the Just Hockey retail store in Glen Iris. The directories will be available in late August.

Stocks are very limited, so get in quick, as these are sure to sell out before the November 30 cut off date.

Price of Limited Edition Hockey Melway: $45
Credit back to Club or Association: $10

Offer ends 30 November 2008

Please refer to the Hockey Victoria website for the order form!

 

Posted By: THS

on August 6, 2008

First things first - Okay, okay…so our predictions for the ladders for the women aren’t anything like they’ve turned out to be…but we’ve gone pretty close with the Men’s with 4 rounds to go of the Home and Away Season.

Back before Round 1…we predicted this ladder at the end of Round 18:

‘Borough

Hawthorn

Waverley

Camberwell

––––––––

Doncaster

TEM

MCC

Altona

Kew

Albury-Wodonga

Let’s take a quick look at the State League 1 ladders for the Men’s competition now at the end of Round 14:

We’ve even surprised ourself how close we were!

Anyway, on to the important stuff.

In the men’s - the top 3 look pretty set with the 4th spot up for grabs between Waverley and Doncaster. MCC look to be too far behind now with the rounds and fixtures to play. So, if we suggest that the Top 4 will be Greensborough, Hawthorn, Camberwell and Waverley purely on the fact their goal difference is mega impressive compared to that of the Doncaster lads, then we’re in for a pretty hotly contested finals series.

Going on recent form, we reckon it’s fair to say that the ‘Borough boys will still be hard to beat but we reckon that Camberwell (we’ll learn a lot from this weekend’s fixture of Hawthorn v Camberwell) may have the goods this year to meet them in the Grand Final. The Hawthorn guys are prone to the old choke, and Waverley probably haven’t got the results strung together against the better teams this year to challenge for that second GF spot. It’d be nice to see a changing of the guard in the SL1 Men’s competition, but something tells us it ain’t gonna happen for some time yet!

Looking towards the other end of the competition ladder, it ain’t a surprise to see Albury heading straight back to SL2 - but again we find ourselves in a HUGE few games coming up for the cellar dwellers of Kew, Altona and TEM at the pointy end of the season. Any of these 3 teams could find themselves joining the boys from the wrong side of the border for a Victorian competition in SL2 next year.

Looking to this weekend and Round 15, it’s a massive game between TEM and Altona. Played in front of a parochial TEM crowd, the A’s will be up against it but with their season counting on it perhaps that “Shin-Boner Spirit” (™ North Melbourne Football Club) will come to the fore. Obviously a huge amount of pressure on TEM’s new coach in Phil Merriman to deliver a result in this game to save his new adopted club a relegation to SL2. To say that TEM has underperformed this year, would be a gross understatement.

The winner of this matchup, will give themselves some distance on the other, but we dare say that the onus is well and truly back on the Kewcumbers with their remaining 4 games of the year against 4 of the Top 5 teams in Waverley, Doncaster, Greensborough and Hawthorn. If they can scrape an unlikely point here or there they might be safe, but with the toughest run home of any of the bottom bunch of teams - perhaps their season peaked wwwaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy too early.

In saying that, TEM play: Altona (this week), Waverley, Doncaster, Greensborugh

While Altona play: TEM (this week), Camberwell, Waverley, Doncaster

!!

So - where do we see this Season 2008 going now with 4 rounds to go?

We see a bunch of insanely well contested fiery games with points and pride on the line. We see cards, goals and biffo. We see the Top 4 remaining the same, with Doncaster unlucky to miss out. Greensborough to win the premiership and we see Albury gone….along with……

………….

it’s so damn close to call! IT’S MURKY, IT’S A SWAMP OUT THERE! OUR CRYSTAL BALL IS SO MUDDY!

But we say in the words of Gretel Killeen/Kyle Sandilands/Jackie-O…

“It’s time to go……………………………………………………………………………………………………..”

TEM.

Why we hear you all scream?

WELL - If Altona beat TEM this weekend, they go to 15 points. This would mean that TEM would have to win 2 out of their remaining 3 games against Waverley, Doncaster and Greensborough to avoid relegation. A tough ask by any stretch. We fancy Altona to win one of their remaining matches most likely against Doncaster or Camberwell - (turning around a 14-0 deficit to Waverley might be a bit of a stretch!) - but regardless 1 win should do it for the A’s which would undoubtedly relegate TEM. Kew have probably done JUST enough on the front 9 to see them lose all their balls into the water in back 9…and still stay afloat.

Right, we’re tucking this handy crystal-ball into storage…for the time being.

 

Posted By: Ballza

on August 5, 2008

In breaking news, Waverley and Victorian Viper superstar Renee Trost will fly to Beijing as a reserve player following Hockeyroo Fiona Johnson’s hamstring injury ruled her out of the games that start in 3 days.

The Hockeyroos open their Olympic campaign against South Korea on Sunday.

Best of luck to Ren from all the gang at The Hockey Show!

 

Posted By: THS

on August 4, 2008

Okay Okay… we admit.

WE GOT IT WRONG with the SL1 Women’s competition in Season 2008.

With four rounds to go, things are looking very different to what our cheap piece of imitation glass shaped in a ball told us.

Before Round 1 we predicted the ladder at the end of Round 18 looking a lil’ somethin’ like this:

Greensborough
Waverley
Hawthorn
MCC

Altona

Essendon Ladies

TEM

Doncaster

Camberwell

Southern United

We predicted Greensborough to win the Premiership followed by Waverley in 2nd place. Camberwell & Southern United were to be relegated.

WU-HELL!

Could things be any different!! - At the end of Round 14, the ladder looks like this:

So! Hawthorn have just overtaken Camberwell at this late stage who certainly surprised us this year by romping away from the get-go. Buoyed by a couple of new pickups, namely one giant Dutch centre-forward, they’ve done extremely well and are poised for a top 2 finish. Greensborough is still well and truly in the mix and Essendon Ladies have surprised all by comfortably sitting in fourth spot with some great wins. The big disappointments are the two teams who played off in the Grand Final in 2007 - Waverley and MCC. Although a couple of controversial events have plagued both these teams and the games they’ve played throughout the year, it looks now that barring some almighty stuff ups by the Top 4 teams that both these teams will finish outside the four. A massive surprise and it looks like some tough questions will have to be asked at both clubs in preparation for next year.

Altona have disappointed also with them languishing at the bottom end of the ladder fighting against relegation like their men counterparts. TEM ladies have plucked some fantastic results seemingly out of thin air, while it’s been fantastic to watch the youngest team in the competition in Doncaster get some great results over more fancied opposition.

That all being said, that second relegation spot is proving impossible to lock in. Southern United are yet to pick up a win and heading back to SL2, but who just will join them looks like it could come down to Round 18. MCC are probably safe…but amazingly if Waverley drop their game to Essendon Ladies this week and the results fall against them, they find themselves back in relegation trouble. Crazy.

The Women’s competition in SL1 this year has been incredibly inconsistent, with results falling every which way. To call it now, seems foolish but we’re guessing that’s why we bought this Crystal Ball in the first place and we better get our money worth.

Looking to the 4 rounds ahead, the fixturing couldn’t be any tighter.

Altona play: TEM, Camberwell, Waverley, Doncaster

TEM play: Altona, Waverley, Doncaster, Greensborough

Doncaster play: Southern United, Essendon Ladies, TEM, Altona

So…how do we see the cards falling?

Doncaster get the best run home, and we reckon they’re probably safe as a result. It’ll be great for the Doncaster girls to stay up too and will prove to them that a young group of girls with grit and determination can match it with the best players in the State.

Altona and TEM are therefore probably going to be battling it out - and we reckon that the Camberwell game for Altona is the nail in their coffin and will see them relegated in an incredibly tight year for the Women’s SL1 Competition.

SO - on what we’ve seen this year and this amazingly inaccurate Crystal Ball…when asked about women (just ask Ben about his until recently unlucky love life and our initial predictions for Season 2008) :

Camberwell to win the Premiership.

Southern United & Altona to be relegated to SL2.

 

Posted By: Ballza

on August 3, 2008

Alrighty, I’ve got a bone to pick.

The last couple of games I’ve played have been…how does one put it?

 ”…over-officiated. ”

Never have I seen so many cards flayed about for seemingly incongruous events in the game. I’m talking about games that are being played in good spirit, with a bit of friendly banter between opponents and the Umpires seem dead keen on stamping it out, as if they think the game is getting out of their control. For the record - I’m going to be talking about men’s competitions here, and ladies please fill us in on your experiences, and to explain, I’m speaking from personal experience and from watching a fair bit of hockey in the four years we’ve been doing The Hockey Show.

The problem is, these games are for more in control than I think umpires think. A bit of fire in the belly and a competetive edge is great, and should be encouraged I reckon. Stick to umpiring, getting the feet right, the bad tackles etc (don’t even get me started on the “I heard a stick clash…so therefore it’s a bad tackle” remark often heard from Umpires…) just stick to officiating the rules of the game. 

I of course understand when the chat can get OUT OF CONTROL, but a bit of understanding and leniancy would be appreciated. I dare say it tends to be the younger umpires, trying to stamp their authortiy over older blokes. Thinking that to be respected, you have to be officious. This is rubbish. Respect from players comes from an understanding of the game and the way that it should be played. Understand the game, then make decisions. The best umpires are the ones that are happy to hear players sides of the story, and explain their decisions. This whole, “talk to the hand” business is so bloody frustrating and i reckon umpires should be taught a lesson in being decent human beings.

…I’m probably going to get carded for this next week.

Right, that’s my rant.

Discuss.

 

Posted By: THS

on July 23, 2008

Well here it is! THE LAST EVER EPISODE OF THE HOCKEY SHOW!

You welling up yet? …

Just quickly - we’ve had an absolute ball making this show for the last four years - it’s been awesome. We’d like to thank everyone that has ever supported us from the actual sponsors of the show, right through to the regular viewers and the sometimes viewers.We think we’ve created something pretty special in The Hockey Show and couldn’t have done it without your support. We never expected THS to outlive a few episodes, let alone 4 seasons - so thanks again for getting behind us in whatever way you have to keep us alive and kicking.

The Hockey Show has always been about supporting the Victorian hockey community and the promotion of this strange game we all play with sticks and balls, and even if we’ve done a little bit thanks again for being part of our little attempt to bring some much needed coverage to our sport.

We hope you enjoy our ONE HOUR FINALE SPECTACULAR and don’t forget, the website ain’t going anywhere so you can still get your hockey fix, talk about the big issues and the not so big issues on the forum and we’ll endeavor to keep the front page updates as regularly as possible with new articles, debates and funny stuff.

YOU TOO can submit articles and things for us to put up, just hit us up at our email address: info@thehockeyshow.org

Keep Dribblin’

THS crew.