So while the Orympix (yes…the Orympix as they say in Beijing) are on, it struck me that there are a lot of random sports out there. I’ve been watching in total bamboozlement thinking to myself…why do they even bother?
Simply – There are sports that just just should not be in the Orympix.
Moreover, (I feel i’m writing a year 12 VCE English essay) the Orympix is for the best of the best. So sports like Soccer and stuff…get rid of it, or get the best gun players playing. It doesn’t really make a lot of sense to me – If I wanted to watch crap soccer, i’d go watch the A-League. 
I reckon we’re all going to have some interesting opinions here, and I look forward to the discussion but if a “sport” is taking place and the commentators have time to discuss the “athletes” hobbies…surely it is undeserving.
I present for your consideration the top 5 sports that shouldn’t be in the greatest show on earth.
Exhibit A: Equestrian.
WTF? Horseracing is one thing, at least its got some activity, it’s over in a short time and you can understand it. Horse runs, reaches finish line. WINNER. Simple.
But EQUESTRIAN? Any sport where you wear a top-hat and tails surely isn’t deserving of being an Olympic sport and one where the commentators get excited about a horse trotting in a particular way…”oooh, look at that trot..that was a super trot – side saddle jolly good old codger hoity-toity English breakfast”. Yeah, nah - not cool.
Let’s not forget that they jump over little model things…”The Hidden Dragon”, “The Forbidden Jump”, “The River of Death”, “Horse Flu” etc.
Exhibit B: Judo.
It’s a pillow fight. Without the pillows. How come it seems all they do is try to grab each others dressing gowns? Why wouldn’t you just wear a tight fitting lycra bodysuit or one of those new fangdangled Swimming cossies to throw your opponent off? Theres nothing to grab onto that way.
ADDITIONALLY – they play in this little area and escape to the outside section as if it is Barley in a game of Tiggey. “Oh…she’s outside the sqaure…PAUSE…COME BACK, COME BACK…ARE WE ALL SET? REALLY? OK……FIGHT”. What a bloody joke. Then, you can win an entire “fight” on a penalty for being too “defensive”. What the hell? So you don’t even have to fight, you just have to attempt to fight and you can find yourself with a medal around your neck. Bizarre.
Exhibit C: Sailing/Windsurfing
Slightly cheating here combing two events under one banner of “shit” but If there ever was a spectator sport….these sure as hell aren’t it. Honestly, whats the point? You stand on shore while lots of little boats/people on surfboards with sails go out and “sail” before coming back and at the end of it, surely your whole experience has been worth diddly-squat. I’ve noticed the way Channel 7 has handled these events is with a nod to what i’m talking about. They do about a 2 minute montage everyday to bring you up to speed with the crazy goingings on of these ridiculous “sports” while also being embaressed they have to even go that far.
Exhibit D: Basketball.
Controversial I know, but surely this is a game that they can start with both teams on 60 points and play the last 5 mins. End to end – 2 points here, 2 points there, 3 points here, 3 points there. Foul here, foul there, slap and tickle after every free throw there, slap and tickle after every free throw there. What an immense waste of time this sport is – and the hooplah that comes with it! Don’t even get me started on the run-on, high 10′s “Way to go Lauren’s!”
Exhibit E: Fencing
I won’t bother pretending I even partly enjoy this wanky interprative dance. Get a bloody gun and get the thing over and done with.
Anyway, that’s just my thoughts. I love sport bashing as long as it’s not hockey.
GET ON BOARD OUR BEIJING BANDWAGON OF RUBBISH!!
Related posts:
August 14th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
apparently you have to be horsey to understand equestrian – so my mum says!
but i just don’t get it. i don’t understand the bit where they side step on a horse around a square boundary and get points for it. the jumps make a little more sense than what’s it called- dressage!
the sport which i think is hillarious is of course the trampolining! anyone, and i mean anyone can jump up and down on a trampoline and then you can kneel, sit on your bum, twist in the air, flip in the air – most 5 year olds can do this! is this an olympic sport for budding primary school children? if so, then where is the egg and spoon race – at least that requires some concentration.
August 14th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
OMG that’s too funny Ballza! Can’t wait to hear you random rantings on syncro swimming or BMX!!!
August 14th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
That aussie Judo woman Pekli or whatever is one of the ugliest people i’ve ever seen. she lost cause she is ugly
August 14th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
I don’t really care for any off those sports but i think they should be in the Olympics. If the sports biggest prize isn’t Olympic gold it shouldn’t be there.
Soccer-NO
Tennis-NO
Sports like judo are shit but some people would say hockey is shit and judo is better…
August 14th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Statsie, lighten up..
Surely you can see anyone who would say “hockey is shit and judo is better…” wont visit this site. Hence its alright to pay out on it.
I mean, if judo is so cool why am i able to kick the crap out of them with my hockey stick.
Ding ding ding, hockey wins by a knockout.
August 14th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
By the way.. i know there probably isnt a bell in Judo. I did that for comic effect. (insert audience laughter here).
August 14th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
I have just watched some handball. Don’t know anything much about it, but very funny to watch.
Water polo, boring. Judo boring.
If you have ever had anything to do with horsey stuff. Training those horses to do all that stuff takes hours and hours. It really is a lot more difficult than it looks.
Fencing, would be more exciting without all the protective wear!
Table tennis is so fast! But can be boring.
Currently listening to Hockey, no coverage on commercial TV yet.
August 15th, 2008 at 8:24 am
i haven’t seen any synchro swimming yet but that has to go down in history as the most ridiculous and boring sport EVER!
August 15th, 2008 at 9:54 am
MOJ you should probably leave the protective equipment in fencing, otherwise only the gold medalist would be alive and we would have to put the silver and bronze medal on corpses
August 15th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Big game hunting should be introduced as an olympic sport. Imagine for the gold medal round taking out a grzzily bear with just a knife. Now thats a deserving winner.
August 15th, 2008 at 11:14 am
excellent work Mike. you really have a way with words!
August 15th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
the poncy dressage aspect of the equestrian can eff right off but the jumping and cross country stuff is aight.
Judo can eff off.
Shooting can eff off or at least not be covered on tv.
Synchro swimming can eff off.
Handball can stay! Its awesome to watch (and play),
Diving/Synchro Diving can stay it is has some the most smokin hot participants in the Games.
Women’s beach volleyball can stay. Same as diving.
August 15th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Almost everyone out there who doesn’t play hockey says it’s boring to watch a full match on tv, and you dont know what’s going on.
Personally, I love all sport, and no sport is more speecial than another, although I do love swimming…and athletics…and footy…and tennis…
Anyone who gets to olympic level is a supreme athlete, they’re all clevvaahh, and they deserve praise.
To say that a sport doesn’t deserve to be in the olympics (especially when there is a chance that hockey won’t be in there for much longer) shows the naivety, simplemindedness, and total lack of any sporting achievement of those who would make such statements. You might not want to watch it, but others don’t want to watch hockey.
I’ve got a tip for you, get outside, do some exercise, and perhaps even train to be better at your sport, or do something to make sure it gets an audience and stays in the olympics.
August 15th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Bruuuce you grumpy old c*n*
i’m pretty sure ballza and the crew at THS have done something to make sure hockey gets an audience.
you freakin’ idiot.
August 15th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
The thing that annoys me the most is that the Olympics is the most supreme competition for most sports. For hockey Olympic GOld is worth more and means more than Champions Trophy Gold. In Volleyball, European Handball this is all the same – Olympic GOld is the supreme award.
FOr sports like soccer – it is just another competition – Olympic Soccer will never come close to the FIFA WOrld Cup. SOccer fans aren’t even supporting Olympic Soccer. So should it be there?
August 15th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
sport can be determined by itself. anything that requires a judge is merely a pasttime.
Not to say that there aren’t some absolutely supreme athletes in the gymnastics and diving for example, but the final decision of who ‘won’ or was ‘better’ is subjective. (regardless of any criteria or specific point deductions, in then end a person decides whetehr they apply)
Hockey – who scored the most goals
swimming – who touched the wall first
you get my point
as for events that shouldn’t be there, first we can scrap anything for which the olympics isn’t the number one event, or where the best athletes don’t show – i.e. basketball, tennis, baseball (is that still there?), football, probably boxing, and i’m sure peple can tink of others.
Now my final point is that the value to spectators is NOT important. If noone was watching, the athletes would still compete (and with the chinese ticketing efforts, this is a reality, and not just a hypothetical.)
I’m not sure where this idea has been born, but sport isn’t about who is watching, its about who is playing. The fact that you can’t see the sailing doesn’t make the event less valid for those who competed, especially for the one who can now say they were/are the best in the world at their chosen event.
judo is boring, but if they weren’t at the limp-dicks, they’d just have a world championship some other place.
August 15th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Hi all
Came home tonight all fired up to watch the Kookaburras Vs Pakistan but Channel Seven have the AFL on instead. The other night they chose to show USA Vs Greece in basketball instead of the Hockeyroos.
Seven have had so many complaints they now have a special phone number – 1300 737 507
I urge you to use it.
Cheers
Bron
August 16th, 2008 at 12:17 am
You are spot on BK.
I rang them, they said it was meant to be televised at 11:15. I have seen nothing but shit on TV since then. A german horserider, some shots of michael phelps and thats it.
Write to them, call them, and complain. Because this is bullshit.
I wanna see aussie sports teams, not replay after replay of phelps.
August 16th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
They just show replays all night of the day events. No one wants to see replays when we watched it 3 hours ago!
August 17th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
I can’t believe Channel 7 are playing AFL over the Olympics. Ridiculous!
August 17th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
You got it all right..
I hate equestrian, basketball and Judo the most.
So gey.
August 17th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
yes, you do have (to some degree) understand the sport you’re watching to really enjoy. In saying that there are some dressage tests that are so boring (and i am into the horsey thing) and the commentators have no idea what they are on about! Jumping is easier to understand – any more enjoyable to watch…
Atm Channel 7′s coverage is incredibly unreliable – as BK and Write On! pointed out they say they are going to televise the hockey, if we’re lucky shows 10 mins of it, then goes back to the swimming for the next hour.
Oh and they only show Australians (except of course, they show phelps) luckily we have SBS to see some other close matches
August 18th, 2008 at 12:19 am
Just finished watching the Kookaburras V’s Germany. I know it started at 10.30pm so late!
August 18th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Exhibit F: Beach Volleyball, other than watching a bit of skin, it has no appeal. Crowds ????
Exhibit G: Rowing, private school sport, poor spectator appeal with a hand full of countries competing. Crowds ???
Exhibit H: Swimming, yes swimming, other than Australia and the US, this is an obscure sport on the world stage. Crowds(fellow competitors and their families) ???
Exhibit I: Hockey, fast moving, action packed, highly skilled…Poorly marketed and buried in minefield of competing obscure sports. Crowds ???
Marketing
August 18th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
SM – you are missing the point as usual.
The number of people watching is completely irrelevent. The olympics, at its core, is not about drawing poeple to watch, or selling someone elses products. It is simply so that the best countries in each sport can compete, to find out who is the best.
And, as i stated earlier, the most important aspect is whether the olympic event in that sport is a true representation of the best the world has to offer. Are the best hockey playing nations in the world sending their best team? i’d say yes, and therefore, the olympics is a fair judge of who is the best country at hockey at the moment.
Is the football tournament at the olympics the same? is the judo? or the diving? the answers are probably no, yes, yes. so which of those three shouldn’t be there?
August 18th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
SM you are a total tool, and that’s probably an insult to hammers. Ever considered that maybe sport is sometimes about the actual sport and the competitors? Just because something doesn’t draw a crowd doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be in the Olympics.
August 19th, 2008 at 12:40 am
In breaking news, David Wansborough has been kicked out of commentating the games for being culturally insensitive.
The replacement: David Wongsborough.
August 19th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Bushy, even the IOC recognizes that the youth of today are not tuning into the Olympics as their parents once did. The ability to attract crowds and sponsorship is what modern sport is all about and that includes the Olympics.
Marketing
August 19th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Bushy, The following article from “The Age” 2007 makes interesting reading.
Olympics cash down to survival of fittest
http://www.theage.com.au/news/beijing2008/bsportb-olympics-cash-down-to-survival-of-fittest/2007/10/16/1192300766748.html
Marketing
August 19th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Bushy and others before you start bagging me read this article from the AOC website.
The IOC and the AOC are clearly signalling the need for change.
“Are sports from 60 years ago truly relevant to the world today?”
Coates supports surfing’s youth appeal 09 May 2007
http://corporate.olympics.com.au/news.cfm?ArticleID=9349
Marketing
August 19th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Interesting point SM but i think surfing and BMX, which has now been included, are not actually big in the ratings. We are one of the most succesful surfing nations in the world, however the pro tour does not rate well here, when anyone actually even bothers to show it. It is a poor spectator sport, Pipeline being the only real tour event where you can get metres from the action. Low crowd numbers at both sports.
Surfing is inexpensive to run and does actually pull in reasonable advertising dollars. So it gets a couple of ticks there.
The IOC may be on the right track in terms of ensuring the Olympics stays relevant to todays youth, but they are barking up the wrong tree with surfing and BMX.
August 19th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
It has been suggested in the past that sports need to attract crowds before TV will show them. If this is the case, what does it matter what the kids want to see, they can’t afford olympic tickets anyway.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
“The ability to attract crowds and sponsorship is what modern sport is all about and that includes the Olympics.”
this is possibly the saddest statement I have ever read anywhere. How horribly defeatist.
First, this debate is about which sports should be competed in at the olympics, not how hockey is funded in australia. On this second topic, you and i are in absolute agreement. For australian hockey to grow and become prosoperous it must go beyond its current ‘governement funding’ model.
What if hockey was scrapped from the olympics? The immediate repercussions would be widely felt, with less funding and therefore less elite level coaching, training and competition. But, perhaps in the long run it would improve the standing of the hockey world cup, drive national competitions in india, pakistan, netherlands and elsewhere to become more commercial.
The bottom line is, and i am beginning to dislike repeating myself, is that sport is about the competitors, not the people watching. No matter how few people turn up to watch, the game will go on.
August 20th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Bushy wrote: The bottom line is, and i am beginning to dislike repeating myself, is that sport is about the competitors, not the people watching. No matter how few people turn up to watch, the game will go on.
SM wrote: What planet are you on, SPORTS COST MONEY. Ever heard of Broadcast rights, the value of the Broadcast rights are directly linked to the number of viewers.
Governments don’t spend billions of dollars building stadiums for zero crowds. If Hockey cannot attract crowds and lift its participation rate it cannot expect Government Funding to build infrastructure or run High Performance programs.
The question to ask is this.
The FIH, Hockey Australia, players and their families put everything into the Olympics, but what does Hockey get in return?
Marketing
August 20th, 2008 at 11:21 am
SM wrote: What planet are you on, SPORTS COST MONEY. Ever heard of Broadcast rights, the value of the Broadcast rights are directly linked to the number of viewers.
Bushy writes: of course sport costs money you peanut! this isn’t a debate about funding, or about advertising, or any otehr bloody thing. The point i am making is this; (for the third time).
Take away all the money, government funding, tv broadcasts, etc etc. At the end of the day, people will still gather into groups to play games. Then different groups will compete against each other in those games. What you then have is competition. The people playing aren’t doing it to get paid, they’re not doing it to entertain the fat guy on the sideline, they are doing it for themselves, as an enjoyable thing to do. It is a simple logical progression to see how this leads to countries filled with rep players competing against each other to find out who si the best in the world.
Money has nothing to do with this basic fact.
Crowd number have nothing to do with this basic fact.
August 20th, 2008 at 11:24 am
SM wrote: The FIH, Hockey Australia, players and their families put everything into the Olympics, but what does Hockey get in return?
Bushy writes: Hockey gets a tournament to determine who is the best in the world. That is it.
September 19th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
if soccers in the olympics they should be made to play on a minefield. that would make for a cool sport.