But before I talk about the heady days of 2005, back where it all began, it’s my duty to make an announcement on behalf of the crew.

The show has always relied heavily on sponsorship. We are not a profit making machine, we exist only for the promotion of hockey. Finding sponsorship has never been easy, but we’ve worked hard and pulled together enough funds, year after year to bring The Hockey Show to air. But as Channel 31 are not a commercial network, we’ve had to be clever about how we build value for money for our sponsors, and how we’ve integrated their brands with our show.

Last week, ACMA (Australian Community Media Association) – the big mummy governing body of C31 and all other Community Broadcasting moved the goal posts – heavily restricting what we can offer our sponsors.

Contrary to previous years, we can barely show a company logo at the end of our show, let only incorporate sponsor logos onto in-camera wardrobe. Channel 31 is happy for us to have as many sponsors as we like, but they just can’t return them any commercial value for their investment. Sure we can promote our sponsors on our website, but our contracts and agreements have also been based on a strong level on free-to-air exposure. Our show rates extraordinarily well and it’s those viewers that are of great appeal and value to our sponsors. But it’s those viewers that ACMA has decided, our sponsors cannot connect with.

So, it’s with some level of sadness that I announce we are pulling the show from Channel 31.

Our last show on 31 will be in 2 weeks time on Wednesday 23rd July.

This isn’t the end of THS. And our website isn’t going anywhere, in fact it’s only going to get bigger. But our relationship with Channel 31 has, for the moment anyway, come to an end. We intend to continue activity here online, the exact structure of the show in coming seasons will be discussed and announced over the coming weeks.

It’s been a long journey to this point, but this is merely another episode in the life of THS. A life that began back in 2005 with two extraordinarily eager members of our hockey community, who started their very own TV show.

I’m not really sure if Hugh Jellie and Dan Miles knew the beast they had given birth to at the time, or that the show would go on to become one of the highest rating programmes on the entire Channel 31 network, but with blind faith, they persisted. Fulfilling a drastically unmet need in the hockey community – simply: a bit of bloody exposure.

Some four years down the track, as The Hockey Show enters its fourth on-air season, the combined crew has successfully put to air 70 episodes, that’s over 35 hours of hockey on free-to-air TV (probably more than the entire combined coverage of the last 6 Olympic games, as well as all those 4 sec grabs from sports tonight over the last decade).

But the road to Channel 31, and to ratings dominance wasn’t a simple process, it wasn’t a quick phone call and a handshake. Hugh and Daniel persisted for an entire year throughout 2004. The original pilot series of the show was shot in their lounge room. Two blokes, one guest and a crappy handicam sitting ontop of the telly. Every week they filmed a new episode and each time the programming staff at 31 replied “Thanks, but no thanks, we already have a dozen or so panel programmes”. “But none about hockey!” they would replied. Alas, it wasn’t until the very last episode, after months and months of trying that the boys went down to the State Hockey Centre and film some game footage, recording the commentary live through the camera. Despondently they submitted this last ditch episode. The response was resounding: “You’ve got yourself a show! ”

As it stands, the show has a very lean crew this year. The show’s brain’s trust consists of about 6 key people. Nick Ball, Hugh Jellie, Ben Ryan, Myself, Luke Kilmartin and Adam Barty. Nick Ball and Ben Ryan are the show’s producers and hosts, Nick also does the bulk of the editing and post production for the show. Hugh, Luke and Ben also do a lot of the filming and assist Nick with the editing, sound and commentary where their skill permits. While I’ve fulfilled the role of the show’s creative director, helping Nick and Ben with the overall direction of the show, including the themes and content and have been responsible for the redirection of the site you’re currently using. Adam is primarily our I.T man and assists with geek related computery stuff. So that’s the crew. Not massive, but passionate.

To create the show each week, the crew dedicate between 4 to 5 days of their week in amongst their full-time jobs starting on a Wednesday night to plan the week’s upcoming episode. Driving from Greensborough to Frankston and everywhere in between to film two games, the filming of a game typically is a 3 to 4 hour round trip after which the long editing begins on a Sunday morning at 10am and finishes the following Tuesday at 9.30pm…give or take a few hours. Then, the whole thing is packaged up, shipped to C31 on Wednesday morning to go to air that night…before the whole process starts again.

Despite the necessity for passionate volunteers, the show’s real lifeline has come in the form of sponsorship. Because of the week-to-week format of the show, it has in fact proved quite expensive to produce. It may come as surprise to some that, on average, the show costs about $4,000 per episode. None of that money goes to us, it doesn’t cover our time or petrol. It covers the production costs and broadcast fees and that’s it. $4,000 per episode. So, this year, we’d planned to put a 13 week season to air. That’s about $50k worth. So it’s easy to see, just how important our sponsors are, and just how damaging Channel 31′s policy change has been to us.

Over the years the show has been applauded, awarded and shit-canned, it’s been taken for granted, loved, hated, enjoyed and criticised. But most importantly it’s never been ignored. And that is something we’re all extremely proud of.

Whether on Channel 31, online or in some other guise, we have, and always will, keep dribblin’…

GUS: Stephen, thank you for joining me…oh that’s weird calling you Stephen.

GIMP: No worries ANGUS!

GUS: HA! Now, the first question I HAVE TO ask, and it’s a question I get asked on a regular basis about you…You’re nick name!? Gimp (or Gimpy), where does it come from? Can you shed some light on the matter?

GIMP: It’s as simple as the black gear I wear. You know; “Where’s the gimp?…Gimp’s sleeping…well you better get him up then” It’s a Pulp Fiction thing.

GUS: Ahh yes, the famous Samurai sword scene! “Zed’s Dead!” Now, one more slightly obscure question. You are, just in case you didn’t know, an Olympic Gold Medalist. Which is ridiculously cool by the way…but my question is this: Do you ever just whack it on and sit around watching telly? You know, go down to the shops wearing it?

GIMP: Mate, I couldn’t even tell you where it is. I’m too busy trying to get another one.

GUS: Fair enough too! Ok, onto more important matters…

You took somewhat of a hiatus from hockey in 2007. Tell me about that period, why did you take the break?

GIMP: To be honest I kind of retired, but was convinced not to be too hasty. During my break I moved down to San Remo, set up my work from there, surfed, wakeboarded, fished and dirt biked to my hearts content with my soul mate Little Maggot and my two best mates Boof (dog) and Jedda (cat).

GUS: Little Maggot!? Wow Gimp, I didn’t realise you were so romantic! Most people call their girlfriends things like “Honey” or “Baby”…Hmmm, they probably don’t have Gold medals though, we’ll move on!

Obviously you’re over in Perth now, in pursuit of Olympic selection, how’s all that going for you? Shock to the system? Or great to be getting stuck in?

Great to be getting into it, so busy that you don’t have a chance to really think too much. Unfortunately I’m struggling a bit body wise with the high intensity training at the moment, but it’s a small sacrifice to pay to have a chance to make this team.

GUS: Do any of the boys work or study during this period? Or is it just hockey 24/7 for you?

GIMP: It’s supposed to be just hockey and, let me tell you, it’s well more than a full time job at the moment, but I’m trying to do few bits and pieces for people at home. So I’ve got some work when I finally get home. Smitty (Andrew Smith) so called “studies a bit”…mind you it’s taken him 9 years or so to almost complete a 3 year degree, hockey will do that to you.

GUS: I’d tease him about it, but, well, Smitty’s kind of massive.

Now Gimp, many people might not know, you don’t drink at all. Right?

GIMP: True.

GUS: Why is this? There’s an obvious drinking culture attached to sport in Australia, why do you not get on the gas?

GIMP: Remember when you were a kiddy and you tried alcohol for the first time? Got a bit pissy and felt like crap, then the next day you wake up and say “I’m never doing that again”. Well, I meant it. I don’t have a problem with people drinking, I mean, I do like you lot, what ever blows your hair back I say.

GUS: You’re also notoriously humble, well, most of the time. I’ve noticed you always deflect praise onto others. Do you think humility is something lacking in elite level sport?

GIMP: Not so sure how humble I am!? And not sure as to whether it’s lacking in sport as such, but I guess you have to believe in yourself to make an elite level in anything. One thing I do know is the blokes I’ve played with that were humble, did the hard yards, and looked for no reward, are people I aspire to be like…and people I like to be around.

GUS: Well said.

In 2004, prior to Athens, you won The Player of the Tournament award at the AHL in Melbourne. Well done on that by the way…

GIMP: Why are you blowing smoke up my bum???

GUS: Humble much?

GIMP: Go on…

GUS: What I was going to say is, I was actually lucky enough to be sitting on the bench as your reserve during that tournament. And you made at the very least 12 saves that were nothing short of extraordinary, and I mean bloody mind blowing stuff. One that you touched onto the post against NSW springs to mind. Do you ever play a game like so many of those and think “Man, I’m honestly not sure it’s going to get any better than this!”

GIMP: Games like that are pretty wicked, but what I find hard is often you have a cracker of a game then people expect that of you all the time (and maybe I drink a bit of my own bath water and expect it of myself). So when you don’t replicate it in a crunch match you feel like you’ve let down the people who count (AHL Semis x 8 and World cup final 06 come to mind).

GUS: Fast forward to August, what is your prediction for the Kookaburras at the Olympics this year? We up for some more golden goodness?

GIMP: Could be, world hockey seems more competitive than ever and any of the top 6 teams could win it, so it will be close and tough to predict. All I know is if I’m there and in one piece I’ll be laying it all on the line - balls and all - to get in the way of that little white thing and get me another one of those little shiny things. An out there prediction though is: golden goal scored by the Gimp on an ingenious corner variation designed just for him. Ha! Fat chance! Fetus (Dwyer) would kill me.

GUS: Gimp on the overlap, I like it!

Ok, If you weren’t “scoring goals” for Australia, what could you rather be doing right now?

GIMP: San Remo, with the Little Maggot, my best mates, just living the life. Only a few more months to go ahhh….

GUS: Finally Gimp, any parting words of wisdom for all those aspiring keepers out there?

GIMP: Get in the way and take pride in denying other peoples goals and dreams. The best feeling in the world is when a forward does a “premature-e-celebration” as he thinks he/she is about to score, and you just steer it around the post.

GUS: Good advice! For the forwards too. Thanks for your time mate.

GIMP: Anytime.

Of course I do THS!

Cool! Well, thanks to our lovely sponsors F-H-E.com & Gryphon, we’re giving away a spanking NEW GRYPHON TABOO AMBER “08″ valued at $380. Which is rather cool, right!?

Nice, how can I win this awesome prize?

It’s simple! All you have to do is put The Hockey Show logo in a weird or wonderful place, take a photo of it or shoot some video of it! And then send it in. Oh, but make sure you register as a THS subscriber first, just find the link on the right hand side of this page (down the bottom!) to become a subscriber. Then you’re eligible!

You mean, that’s it!?

Yep! That’s it! You might be at the hockey, the footy, the Pyramids in Egypt, on top of Uluru or just in lecture at uni. We don’t care where you put it (although keep it legal! And make sure you’re creative!).

So, where do i get a logo from?

Funny you should ask that, simply download the Full Logo or THS Ball by clicking on them and then print them out (in colour!)

How is the winner decided?

The 3 best entries will be judged by our esteemed panel of experts on the following criteria:

> Originality
> Accuracy
> Spontaneity

And then, we’ll post them up on this very site YOU will vote on the winner! Talk about power to the people. Be as original as you like. We want big statements in the real world, to get The Hockey Show out there!

Where do i send my radical entry?

info@thehockeyshow.org

How long have I got?

The competition closes Friday 27th June 2008. So chop chop!

How awesome is that!?

Ahhh, pretty freakin’ awesome.

As Rusty said, “it was the same ankle as I did in National League. I’ve got the MRI results back and it’s a tear to one of the ligaments, partial tear in another and a bit of fluid and bone bruising at the back of the ankle. Probably have to get another cortisone shot and keep monitoring it…”

A seemingly innocuous injury – rolling your ankle – can result in quite a long lay-off and recovery period. Although, when Rusty spoke with THS yesterday he was quite optimistic about the prognosis.

“Went for a jog last night and pulled up pretty well so that’s good. Will do some light stick and ball work tonight and get back into it slightly. So hopefully fingers crossed could be back in full training within a week. Will just have to tape and brace etc from now on…”

All the crew at THS wish Rusty well with his recovery. And wish his fellow Victorian team mates, Smitty, Trav Brooks, Luke Doerner and The Gimp well in their pursuit for Olympic selection!

Keep checking back at THS Online for updates and news on our Aussie boys.

Seriously though, without the generous support of our sponsors like OPSMC the show would not be possible so it’s brilliant to have them on board for another year.

OPSMC provide world class sports medicine care for everyone, from the elite athlete to members of the general public. So whether you play Metro 86 or State League 1 the crew at OPSMC can help get you back on track and playing hockey sooner!

Check them out www.opsmc.com.au

Or click that awesome little purple banner thing over on the right.

But what we witnessed up in Canberra was nothing like any of those. What we witnessed, was a moment in a league all of its own, a moment for the ages. Oh, let’s not be confused, I’m not talking about the hockey at all. The hockey was great. Oh no, what is permanently scorched into my retinas, carved into my cerebrum is, in fact, the half-time entertainment during the finals of the Men’s AHL.

It’s hard to know exactly how to describe the event.
But one thing I know for sure is this…

I’ve watched ‘So you think you can Dance’ (twice), ‘Dancing with the stars’, ‘It takes two’, ‘Australian Idol’, Big Brother, Coxy’s Big Break and my Asian mates playing “Dance, Dance, Revolution”

So I believe it’s fair to say I’m entirely qualified to comment on the “dancing” prowess that was put before us during the half time break up in Canberra…

Allow me to put on my judges hat.

*Cough*

It lacked wow-factor. I really think the girls need to make more eye-contact with their audience. Dancing, Cheer leading, whatever you want to call it, is an art form. And any form of art is about story telling, so eye contact is vital to make us believe your story, makes us buy into what you’re saying girls. Even if what you’re saying isn’t in English, or any particularly decipherable language, it doesn’t matter! You gotta make us believe. Takes us on a journey. And where are the chants? It needs to be multi-media, a layered visual and auditory experience, you can’t have cheer-leading without the cheers. “Hey, hey, ho, ho, blah-di-blah-blah, yo yo” See! It’s easy! And hand claps, you need heaps more clapping – again, it’s about heightening the sensory moments of the performance. We were all frankly disappointed with this aspect of the show. Pyrotechnics would help also, people love exploding stuff. A smoke machine too, for instant atmosphere, and maybe some spinning disco lights. It’s really not that difficult, and I believe if the girls make these simple improvements, they’ll be ready to take on a more cosmopolitan Melbourne market.

Let it be known, that we do feel sorry for these girls. And we do realise they are trying their darndest…but the question has got to be asked of HA, what are we doing promoting Cheerleading instead of our own game?

Why are little kids not running around with hockey sticks bashing each other over the head as they hit at goal rather than fluffing around with pom-poms.

KIDS + STICKS = ENTERTAINMENT – a “TRIPLE THREAT” if I’ve ever heard of one.

But what of the Beijing Olympic squad?

The second and final installment of this Lord Of The Rings style epic concludes with much beer, much laughter and much of Andrew Smith taking his shirt off.

Ladies, prepare yourself.

Part 2 of The Hockey Show in Canberra.

Enjoy.

Spirits were high as the intrepid team headed north (where Ramsay Street ex-pats go to die). The stereo was pumping, the cruise control firmly locked and the petrol tank was bulging like a Full Back’s head after scoring a goal. Our first port of call was Albury, home of Easter’s greatest spectacle (second only to Christ’s little party trick) for a beer and a meal.

‘A beer and meal’ turned into ‘humiliation’ as Ben and Ballza foolishly took on two rather more masculine locals on the pool-table (probably should have stuck to the air hockey). Nonetheless the team pushed on through the night before stopping in Wagga-Wagga for some sleep-sleep.

The next morning, bright and early we jumped back on the Hume Highway before stopping for breakfsat in Gundagai. Here, it is fair to say that the gang ate an assortment of the worst meals in history at the “Niagara Cafe”. Unlike the great Falls, the food didn’t go down so well. Apparently there is a track winding back to an old fashion shack. And apparently in that particular shack they have no idea how to good eggs benedict. Or cook at all. Who would’ve thought.

Back in the car, via the toilet, via another toilet, and via a tree, we arrived in the nation’s capital. And what a special special place it is.

*insert crickets and tumbleweeds*

Don’t worry about the serenity. How’s the culture? Mmmmmm…rich.

SERIOUSLY – is there a more boring place in the whole entire world, which resembles a ghost town, but technically isn’t? As one of us noted, all we wanted to see was some sign of life as we drove around the streets, but there was nothing to be seen. We further speculated a zombie inducing virus had broken out, thus the lack of life. Upon seeing some locals we didn’t discount our theory. Anywho, we were there for the hockey finals, not an examination of poor urban planning. So out to the National Hockey Centre we traveled. Greeting us when we arrived was a massive crowd of about 25 people, and an even more massive giant screen for the instant replays.

Split into 2 sections, this is Part 1 of the The Hockey Show in Canberra.

Enjoy.

The Hockey Show will be closely following their preparation for the games in August and will keep you updated as news, or more importantly gossip, comes to hand.

It was also brilliant to see Glenn Simpson, Ian Smyth and Chris Ciriello all in the development squad. They will all hopefully be pushing for selection in the London Squad in 2012.

Stay tuned for more on THS’s road trip to Canberra as well some video updates and footage from the series.

Anyway, this got me thinking. What are the DOs and DON’Ts when it comes to hockey? What should we have more of and what should we avoid like the plague? So I’ve put on my intrepid investigative journalistic fedora and have scoured our metro lands for a concise, beginners guide to the DOs and DON’Ts of hockey.

DO

• Model yourself on Andrew Smith: Respected, talented, fit, hard-working and a good bloke too. St. Smitty is so freakin’ sweet he apologises sincerely to his opponents when he humiliates them. And has pec definition that casts a shadow over mine and Ballza’s combined man-boob cleavage. A man mountain with a heart to match.

• Be polite. If you’re polite you can insult an umpire and get away with it. Sarcasm hasn’t crept its way into the by-laws just yet. Mums will like you too.

• Come to terms with the fact that you’re not good enough to play football. Deep down we all harbor some kind of residual shame that we’re not playing a full contact sport. Get over it. Promote your sport and tell everyone proudly you’re a hockey player… and that ice skating is for teenage girls with annoying parents and a penchant for sequins.

• Worship the amateur. Being an amateur sport doesn’t make hockey a mediocre sport. We all play this game for one reason and one reason alone – we bloody love it. Money in sport is like religion in life, it starts wars and complicates things. I’m happy to be proven wrong, but a little amateurism can go a long way.

• Take off those skin coloured bike shorts. Ok, so that’s kind of a round-a-bout way of saying “don’t wear skin-coloured bike shorts”. So yeah, what I just said. While not an exclusive rule for hockey players per-say, I don’t play badminton, bowls or soccer, so it’s not my problem. In fact I’m going to go one step further here: don’t wear anything skin-coloured. It’s just wrong on so many levels, and no-one’s skin is that colour anyway, seriously, who you are kidding? Are you like Buffalo Bill or something? Please, please, please just burn them…and ease off the Dancing with the stars re-runs while you’re at it.

DON’T

• Bitch. There are lot’s of things that can improve in our sport, but remember the only reason you want them to change is because there’s so much love. So don’t bitch, go out there and make things better. Or just start a blog and bitch about them. I mean, “write” about them.

• If you’re under the age of 13 don’t wear sunglasses, to, from or during a game. In fact, don’t wear them at all. You might be protecting your eyes, you might be being sensible, but you just look like a smarmy little know-it-all. Precociousness is almost as annoying as the next point. Almost.

• Be an annoying parent. Will you just go to hell already!? Seriously. Everybody knows and hates an annoying parent. Everybody. So just go away and let your kid play hockey in peace. Annoying parents sit closely on a scale with Joseph Stalin and George W. You’re not going to invite them to a dinner party anytime soon. So, don’t tell everyone how good your kid is, don’t play mind tricks with the other 10 year olds in your kid’s team. And don’t, don’t, don’t speak to my parents, they hate you more than I do.

• Wear a headband. Unless you’re a Swedish tennis player or a Brazilian soccer star please refrain. Take it off, get a hair cut and stop embarrassing your team mates. Girls are exempt (except if you start rollin’ with one of those wet-suit material visors, in which case refer to previous sentence).

• Hip-and-shoulder a girl. Many years ago a team mate, in a mixed junior match, hip-and-shouldered a girl who was playing at left wing. She went flying. Like, really flew. Had it been at a ground with a lower fence, she would have landed in the canteen. It wasn’t cool back then, and it’s still not cool now. You just end up looking like a cun-

• Drop the c-bomb.