There are moments of sporting excellence that we all remember; Cathy taking out the 400 in Sydney. The Lions blistering their way to 3 in a row. Dwyer sneaking one under the Dutch keeper. Or Michael Jordan tying up his shoe laces.

But what we witnessed up in Canberra was nothing like any of those. What we witnessed, was a moment in a league all of its own, a moment for the ages. Oh, let’s not be confused, I’m not talking about the hockey at all. The hockey was great. Oh no, what is permanently scorched into my retinas, carved into my cerebrum is, in fact, the half-time entertainment during the finals of the Men’s AHL.

It’s hard to know exactly how to describe the event.
But one thing I know for sure is this…

I’ve watched ‘So you think you can Dance’ (twice), ‘Dancing with the stars’, ‘It takes two’, ‘Australian Idol’, Big Brother, Coxy’s Big Break and my Asian mates playing “Dance, Dance, Revolution”

So I believe it’s fair to say I’m entirely qualified to comment on the “dancing” prowess that was put before us during the half time break up in Canberra…

Allow me to put on my judges hat.

*Cough*

It lacked wow-factor. I really think the girls need to make more eye-contact with their audience. Dancing, Cheer leading, whatever you want to call it, is an art form. And any form of art is about story telling, so eye contact is vital to make us believe your story, makes us buy into what you’re saying girls. Even if what you’re saying isn’t in English, or any particularly decipherable language, it doesn’t matter! You gotta make us believe. Takes us on a journey. And where are the chants? It needs to be multi-media, a layered visual and auditory experience, you can’t have cheer-leading without the cheers. “Hey, hey, ho, ho, blah-di-blah-blah, yo yo” See! It’s easy! And hand claps, you need heaps more clapping – again, it’s about heightening the sensory moments of the performance. We were all frankly disappointed with this aspect of the show. Pyrotechnics would help also, people love exploding stuff. A smoke machine too, for instant atmosphere, and maybe some spinning disco lights. It’s really not that difficult, and I believe if the girls make these simple improvements, they’ll be ready to take on a more cosmopolitan Melbourne market.

Let it be known, that we do feel sorry for these girls. And we do realise they are trying their darndest…but the question has got to be asked of HA, what are we doing promoting Cheerleading instead of our own game?

Why are little kids not running around with hockey sticks bashing each other over the head as they hit at goal rather than fluffing around with pom-poms.

KIDS + STICKS = ENTERTAINMENT – a “TRIPLE THREAT” if I’ve ever heard of one.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 28th, 2008 at 2:49 pm and is filed under Gus. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.